Peter the Broken

For God to work in us and through us...Must first this shell of self be broken?


...When I reflect on past prayers, I find that I pray for one thing more than anything else.
To become broken. Broken, as I have been when God has shown me so much because I in those times am humble, knowing that I am nothing. Broken...relying on Him for all things. That I may desire His will over my own. To have my ambitions, days, hopes, thoughts, dreams, future, and character to be set by Him...to follow Him where He leads.

To be broken. How?

Peter said to him,

“Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”

In this moment Peter has NO doubts in his statement. "I WILL lay down my life for you." I WILL. He felt it deep in his heart. He had his God beside him and he believed every tenet of his comment. How ever as we find he does not fulfill his vow. Instead he runs from it...he denies with oaths and curses the Christ he vowed to die for.
It was only after this moment that Peter was solid enough to be "the rock" on which the foundation of the Church would be built. Peter in his brokenness...in his understanding that he can rely on nothing of himself and only on Christ. Only after proving his solemn belief in self unworthy could he "follow" fully. Only when he came to the end of himself and his self-sufficiency, when there was not one strand of himself he would ever rely again was he capable of truly "following".

How many times have I stated, "I will"? How many times have I vowed and given oaths? How often have I not "followed"? Not seen that I have NO power on my own, that I am only capable with Him and His lifting me up?

If brokenness is our prayer we must come to this same place Peter stood two-thousand years past. We must come to see that not one strand of ourselves is able to stand, not one strand is able to hold the smallest weight. Only then, do we cast ourselves fully on Him, truly following.

Running On Ice.

Friends, let me share with you one of the most grandiose things I have experienced. Running on ice. Sounds crazy right? If you are a runner...try it you will find that you are quite wrong.
I wondered myself until I began my run this evening...The temp 21 F. The wind...5 mph, gusts of 20+. And me...CRAZY. Yes crazy, but crazy with eight friendly 1/2" sheet-metal screws evenly dispersed in the bottom each of my NewBalance running shoes. As I set out in the dark of this Oklahoma ice storm I moved slow...testing this makeshift "iceshoe". Breath seen leaving my mouth...sweat freezing on my eyelashes and eyebrows. As I continue on I move faster becoming ever more confident of this strangely stable footing. One mile, then two...endorphins begin to kick in and I know I could go another five or six even with the added stress of being a bit tense. I feel GOOD.
Silence...but the click of my screws and the gusts through the ice covered branches. Then in the distance the sounds of automobiles, man-made beasts meant to go long distances and haul large loads...yet tonight I hear them, rubber on ice for a half minute or more. Unable to gain traction they try again... Fifty yards in front of me at an intersection vehicles "coast and go" to keep from losing the traction they tried so long to gain. Even so I turn the corner and am able to run at their bumper for another fifty yards or so. Then...forty minutes after it begun my run comes to an end, but only after it has given me this amazing feeling.

Amazing feeling?
As I run in this race.
One that is impossible on my own.
I out pace machines made to perform.
I run this race. Finish. Finish Strong.
Not on my own but only with a SOLID FOUNDATION.

The race tonight...running on Ice. But I also run a race that you run as well...this race. LIFE. It too is just as impossible on our own. In a time where many have machine and program, plans and schemes, to run this race in better time, in a better way. They say they make it worth it...this life. "Go Faster", "Make More", "Loose Weight", "Be a New You A Better You"... they boast.
OUT-PACE THEM, FINISH, FINISH STRONG.
Tonight my foundation = screws.
Forever my foundation = Christ. Christ alone.

Too Long

Long time since I have even looked at this blog. I will not spend time catching you up on life here in Weatherford or other happenings outside of saying that this last semester was the greatest time of "reaping" I have seen while here (and it is without a doubt directly related to the hours spent in prayer by a handful of students and others).

It is my hopes that I begin weekly postings on this blog as well as return to sending daily Bible verses and prayer requests via Facebook's group "Jesus Rocks my Shoes off". As I have slacked a quite a lot in both places and the latter having such significant fruit.

Once more. Hope you enjoy these posts. Please post thoughts as you have them.