Time.

How time sneaks away only to be realized gone; moments, days, and most often years later. It has always been my life goal to live every day fully; wholly giving of myself to those around me, truly taking advantage of the opportunities given me, and living completely for my King.

As I look through photos of days gone bye, I can not help but smile in remembrance of so many of those days lived "all out". I know that I have made mistakes along the way. I have; over-reacted, under-appreciated, and fallen time after time. However, I am lucky to have no regrets. I have lived in the moment for as long as I can remember, pondering on days gone bye, and dreaming of days left in front, yet always living NOW.

A large part of my lacking regrets comes because I have always said what is important to me. Which is why I wish to say thank you. You have made a difference in my life...REALLY.

I have told you before but wish to again. Thank You:

Mom, Dad, Clay.

Grandma, Grandpa, Gma Maggie, Papa.

Dorothy and Bill.

Terry Jackson, Rick Floyd, Gary and Linda Miller.

Christ Community Church.

Donovan Bowers, Dawn Frank, Jay Evans. Tripp Plymesser.

Trent.

Clint and Lou Kissee, Rick Dahlgren. Willy, Shelly, Neicie, and Lora Worley.

Claire. Alicia. Ambia. Chaney. Kimberly. Georgia. Krystin. Landon. Marisa.

TSA'ers.

Flavio, Nanette.

Allen. James. Garrett. Stetson. Curtis. Kyle. Greg. Daniel. Robert. Brady. Jared. Jordy. Ty. Dusty. Nathan. Justin. Evan. Jeff. Kevin. Kody. Caleb. Drew. Brantley. Mark. Bartel. Scott. Pat. Carl. Chase. Travis. Yusuke. Zach.

James Hensley.

Kaitlin. Tara. Merlanda. Andrea. Megan. Amber. Alexandria. Alyssa. Lela. Jessi. Johna. Charissa. Christina. Christine.

Cole. Reed. Andy. Ben. Kelsey. Leonel. Ann. Philip. Goose. Buffy. Alvina. CJ. Morgan. Drew. Robert. Rylan. Temperly. Jarah. Sam.

Jena. Taylor. Rusty. Mrs. Guy.

You make me who I am.

Thank you, Lord!

Excuses of life.

So...I just finished having my lunch. Afterward I ran to the dorms for only a short bit...it was going to be quick. So, I parked in the ten minute parking. Well, twelve minutes later I come down to leave...
I am getting a ticket.
In this case I feel justified to not get a ticket. I want to say "its just two minutes long"..."its sunday and no-one is here"..."I am an RA"...or a million other excuses.
In life its the same human nature has us think with excuses. "I'm not that bad." "I don't deserve death." "Look at that guy." "It was only a little sin."

The point is. I was parked there over ten minutes. I have no excuse.
We are sinners. We have no excuse.
Thanks be to God for His Son!

Peter the Broken

For God to work in us and through us...Must first this shell of self be broken?


...When I reflect on past prayers, I find that I pray for one thing more than anything else.
To become broken. Broken, as I have been when God has shown me so much because I in those times am humble, knowing that I am nothing. Broken...relying on Him for all things. That I may desire His will over my own. To have my ambitions, days, hopes, thoughts, dreams, future, and character to be set by Him...to follow Him where He leads.

To be broken. How?

Peter said to him,

“Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”

In this moment Peter has NO doubts in his statement. "I WILL lay down my life for you." I WILL. He felt it deep in his heart. He had his God beside him and he believed every tenet of his comment. How ever as we find he does not fulfill his vow. Instead he runs from it...he denies with oaths and curses the Christ he vowed to die for.
It was only after this moment that Peter was solid enough to be "the rock" on which the foundation of the Church would be built. Peter in his brokenness...in his understanding that he can rely on nothing of himself and only on Christ. Only after proving his solemn belief in self unworthy could he "follow" fully. Only when he came to the end of himself and his self-sufficiency, when there was not one strand of himself he would ever rely again was he capable of truly "following".

How many times have I stated, "I will"? How many times have I vowed and given oaths? How often have I not "followed"? Not seen that I have NO power on my own, that I am only capable with Him and His lifting me up?

If brokenness is our prayer we must come to this same place Peter stood two-thousand years past. We must come to see that not one strand of ourselves is able to stand, not one strand is able to hold the smallest weight. Only then, do we cast ourselves fully on Him, truly following.