It has been a short while since my last life change...or last three life changes.
At the start of May I took a new position with SWOSU (Assistant Director of an adjudicated facility), that took me to a different part of the state, and on to my next season of life, or at least the next chapter of this book.
This window of opportunity was quickly presented and as quick as it was presented it required an equally quick response. The decision that was before me was difficult. I was plagued with the urgency of this offer, plagued by the weight that was carried by my decision.
To stay, to go?
The decision was most difficult.
The pros of staying were largely relationship in nature. People flooded my mind. Faces. Person after person; individuals I had invested time with, friends I had grown closer with, relationships that I had hoped to continue to pour effort, time, and love into, they all were there...heavy on my thoughts.
RAs
Chad and Amy
Residents
Church Members
Co-workers
Would the move injure my ability to continue to build these people up? Might I still be able to make a difference in their lives just as great from a distance as I could in the same town?
The pro to taking this job was very similar to the pros of staying in Weatherford. People. Granted not people in the community...250 tops, but rather the Residents of the facility. See, this program houses sixteen criminally active young men, who are given a chance to change the course of their lives.
These are mostly men that have never seen anything but what they came from, all they have are gangs for support and hardly a one has had a positive male figure in their life.
Through out the 24-hour period that I had to make a decision, a verse kept on the forefront of my mind.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6That verse consoled me. It helped me be confident in the decision that I would ultimately make.
Clearly I took the job. Now, I am looking for a house to buy...trying to take these next steps in as much faith as I took the first. I am still living in three locations it seems...here at the facility, back in Weatherford, and back in Arnett...all at the same time. I guess if you count the nights I have slept in my truck then you can add those locations too. :)
Things have turned rough this past week. I often feel all alone. I run much, and think more. My thoughts drive me to wonder about this decision to leave what I know as home for this location that is barren for friendship. I do not question my coming up here, but I do find myself less confident in being here next month...next year...and on.
Through this rough week, a verse has found itself consistently on my mind.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust. Trust the Lord with everything. My understanding is less than His. His understanding is greater than mine. Pray to Him in all things. Consider Him first in all things. Look at His will (to bring Him glory), first making that my priority and He will make my paths straight.
Today, left to my own thoughts...I am fearful. My road seems uncertain, with many bends.
Today, with this verse I look to my past. My. Path. Has. Been. Straight. He has led me through everything, straight through it all. He has blessed me daily, greatly. I know without any doubt this seemingly perilous path, will be straight, and it will be glorifying to my King.
And that reminds me of the other pro to coming on this journey. I knew that with this move my relationship with my Lord would grow as a result. And it has done exactly that.
In these hard lonely times, I remember:
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you." For I AM with you.
Isaiah 43:2
I am not alone. Nor are you. Thank you to my Lord and thank you for helping remind me: Tara, Lacie, Cole, Ben, Dad, and Heath. You were used greatly.
1 comment:
Hi neighbor. You must have worries with such a new road before you. Such change and challenges can leave one with a need to find additional strength. With the love of those who has given solace before, one can endure. I think of you as one that has a good heart, a good mind and a strong faith. If I may, let me share some thoughts from my friend, Dr. Gene. "It is the spirit of the Lord that dwells inside us, that gives comfort to those suffering. Love, compassion for our fellow humans are proof of that spirit." You have love, you have compassion thus the spirit of the Lord is apparent. He is with you and takes each step with you. Know that you are loved and that others feel your pain.
I once read that Life wasn't made to be easy, that we have lessons that must be learned. It is hard, very hard but once the struggle is past, one has a sense of calm and prepares one for the next challenge/lesson.
Take care.
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